Oh Monday!

Monday was so good to me. It was an extra productive day and the best part is....I didn't do a thing!
HR got to come home early today. Generally when he is coming home on days off, he doesn't arrive until late in the evening. Today, however, they had issues with the well and were unable to frac.  Yay for a whole extra day off.  On his way down he stopped in Kingsville and found several options for our new residence.  So now out challenging is choosing one (better than our previous one of "omg, it's almost time and we have no leads whatsoever").
The two little boys are sick. My parents-in-law offered to take them both to the doctor. Try has a double ear infection.  Ryan, although battling a fever for the past few nights and crying as if he were too weak to do so, has nothing. He must take after me ;).  We are sure it's probably just a cold (he did strep and flu culture s and also checked his ears) but the doctor prescribed him an antibiotic aa preventative since Trey looks and sounds pretty bad.
I got to run with my running bestie this afternoon! We didn't get to run the 5 planned on, not did we run the hills because of daylight constraints. It was nice....got to vent, got to catch up. I ask going to miss Nora when we leave. :/
And now, to make this day perfect, i get to sit down and eat dinner with my whole family. I am excited to have HR home for a few days and finally get to decorate the house...together <3

All Work and No Play

...is not good for the soul.

After having a long week, HR calls me Friday afternoon and tells me that he has Saturday off.  He had thought about renting a car and coming down to surprise me, but the logistics of it all would be too complicated.  Long story short, I decided to load up the boys and drive North to spend some quality time with him.  The drive up was nice; I was excited to see HR and the boys did well.  By the time I made it up to San Antonio, all three were passed out.

HR and I decided to drive up another hour to stay with my sister for the weekend.  She has a large house and by saving money on not getting a hotel, we could indulge a little.  The drive to her house was great as well.  HR and I got to catch up on the week's events and talk about Christmas gifts and plans, and of course, the MOVE.  

My sis had some cold beverages and pizza waiting when we arrived, just what we needed!  She seemed to have forgotten the frosty mugs ;)  We visited a little before heading to bed.  Saturday morning my sister cooked us breakfast.  Afterward, we headed into Austin to ride the train at Zilker park.  It was a nice sunny day, about 80 degrees with a cool breeze every now and then.

Trey loved the train.  He is in to trucks, trains and planes, so this was like Heaven to him.  Caiden enjoyed the trail of lights props and most of all, the lights in the tunnel.  Ryan was in awe.  After our train ride, we had lunch at Serrano's.  We chose this restaurant because of the sentimental value.  Growing up our parents used to treat us to Serrano's.  It's a beautiful reminder of the Blue Crew Days.  The food in no way compares to the authentic Tex-Mex of El Valle, but it's pretty good.  Trey tore up the salsa!

In the afternoon we had cupcakes from one of the eateries in the downtown area in Austin.  They were awesome!  The cupcakes and icing are homemade and organic.  They were moist, delicious and not too sweet.  We ate our cupcakes back at Zilker, on top of a hill.  This was our view: 

After we ate we let the kids roam around a little.  I taught Caiden how to properly roll down the hill.  It was nice to have the family time.  We try to have family time when HR comes home from work, but it's hard.  There are so many things that need to get done in the 3 short days he's home.  Although we do things with the boys, it's usually rushed.  This is especially true on weeks like this week, when HR will be off smack in the middle of the week, while we are at school/work.  The boys climbed on us, my sis and Caiden raced around, and we explored a little.  

I didn't want the weekend to end.  Unfortunately, I had to go drop off HR at 9pm on Saturday night, so that he could take a power nap and be ready to go around 2 or 3am.  And then there was the long drive home; it just wasn't as smooth of a ride. Afterall, what did I have to look forward to, WORK?  lol.  Despite having to be on the road 12 hours or so, I wouldn't trade it; it was the perfect family Saturday!  I am truly blessed!!!!

Patience is a Virtue

....one that I do not possess.

Wednesday I went to the doctor to check out a pain I'd been having in my side.  In the past I've had an abscess on one of my ovaries, but this pain was slightly different.  I chose to see my family physician.  Immediately he asked why I didn't make an appointment with my gynocologist.  I told him that I didn't think I'd get in quickly, and besides, I wasn't sure it was a "female" problem.

So he asked me to lay back and began pushing down on my abdomen.  I nearly jumped off the table when he pushed down on the right side.  He was pretty sure he thought he knew what it might be.  After another sort of exam he determined that he was not so sure anymore.  So I was given orders for a CBC and a sonogram to see for sure.  I will spare all the boring details and say this: the sono started normally and then the tech had to take a detour....ugh, not sure what that was all about. Why must the sono-techs get trained to have poker faces?  And of course, I will not have the results until tomorrow afternoon, a whole TWO days later :(

All day today my sides hurt-one side or the other, and at times both.  I was beginning to think I was going crazy.  Am I psyching myself out?  I'm not sure if it really even hurts anymore.  What if it's nothing?  That would kinda suck, but then, I don't really want it to be something either, right?  Ugh.  Anyway, my students were supportive and engaged today, which kept my stress level in check.

After school I wanted nothing more than to come home and take a nap, the pain is exhausting.  I had given my word, however, that I would help judge auditions for our school's talent show.  That was entertaining, to say the least.  We actually have some great talent, the funny part were the bands.  They had to have spent over a half hour setting up their drums and amps and tuning their bases/guitars, only to audition for 1 single minute.  haha, Also, what's with the screamers?  The metal(ish) bands always had a singer and a screamer.  Didn't quite get that.  I could do without the screamer.  I should have been the Simon of the group and said, you guys are awesome, but the screamer is going to hold you back, dump him!  lol

Then there's this evening.  I decided Trey was ready for a haircut.  I got out my clippers.....

Front is ok, probably a little too long, but by that point I was working on borrowed time as far as him sitting still.

Back is.....well see for yourself:

C'est la vie....a friend of mine once told me, "The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about a week."  And so the waiting continues..........

Giving Thanks

It is the time of year where people reflect on their lives and give thanks, at least according to facebook.  So, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but instead of 30 days of thanks, I decided to just blog about it.  I am so thankful for the many blessings in my life, especially my beautiful family.  Last weekend we took family portraits at the park, so I thought that this would be the perfect time to start introducing photos to my blog.  

Here are a few of my favorites:

My favorite men!

My Love

The Gonzalez Family

I am blessed to have three handsome little boys (and a big one :).  Caiden, Trey and Ryan brighten my days; HR is my rock and biggest fan!!!  I pray his love and understanding never fade!!!  I also have some amazing women in my family.  My mother and sisters would (and try their best to) give my sons the world.  I can't wait to be an Auntie and return the love ;)

I am thankful for my ex-husband, without whom I would not have my oldest son!  We had some ups, and definitely some downs, but our relationship has grown and changed.  I am happy to say that we have found the balance between being "exes" and being "friends."  He is a wonderful father, and I could not ask for anything more for Caiden!

My back and I are still at odds, especially during this time of year, but besides that I can't complain.  This time last year would have been a different story, as I was still in the midst of recovering from pregnancy complications. Back to the present....I workout fairly consistently and I eat well.  That being said, I am thankful for good health.

I am thankful to have the opportunity to continue studying, for the merit scholarship awarded to me (which means my long nights and hard work were not in vain), to have a beautiful home, to provide and be provided for, for all that I have and even that which I don't.  

JAVELINA PRIDE

Today my husband and I made a trip out to Texas A&M University-Kingsville (TAMUK).  We had several things on our to do list, and we got most of it accomplished.  House hunting was a bust.  Finding a place to live is frustrating and stressful.  In Kingsville, the nicer, newer apartments are income-based, while the ones we could rent (that we inquired about) had no vacancies.  Finding a rental home is worse.  Daycare for the little ones is another challenge.  Most childcare centers only open part-time, either a few days a week, or for only a few hours a day.  The center on campus has a 2.5 year waiting period....my program is 2 years (God-willing).

I briefly met with the director of my grad program in the morning, but he had a class and we decided to meet in the afternoon instead.  I spoke with someone at financial aid in the morning and also changed my name with the registrar (they had me listed as one of my previous aliases).  I bought my first Javelina shirt at the bookstore.  We took a break from school related activities and had lunch with my grandmother, who happened to be in town pre-registering for surgery.  After lunch we went back to campus so that I could meet with the director.  I was permitted into my courses.  Yay!

The most memorable part of my day, besides being able to share it with my husband, was a special feeling I got while walking around campus getting things done.  My husband attended TAMUK, so it was nice to know that we are sharing an experience.  That's not it though.  I felt a sense of pride being on campus...you see, my grandmother was a high school drop out.  She quit school to get married, as was not uncommon back in the day.  After a few years of staying home, she decided she wanted more; she wanted an education.  She got her GED, and proceeded to get her bachelors and then her masters.... at, of all places, TAMUK!!!

It's all so surreal, but with each thing crossed off my list, it definitely gets more real.  I am nervous and excited for school to start, and dreading the actual process of moving.  I believe in me, my husband believes in me, the director seemed intent on getting me through as quickly as possible (which means he believes I can, based on my academic history).  We are making some sacrifices, and I would hate for it all to be for nothing.  Failure is not an option!

Have an Outlet

Life isn't always beautiful.  Sometimes there are aspects of our lives that aren't going as smoothly as others.  I love my family.  I love my husband.  I don't particularly care for all elements of my job-the paperwork, the constant technology battles, the attitudes.  I definitely don't care for some of his.  HR was home for almost a whole week straight last week.  It was awesome to spend so much time with him, but since he's been gone, I haven't been able to talk to him.  You win, you lose. That's life I suppose, why should his job be any different.

Have an outlet.  Take up a hobby.  Read.  Work-out.  Shop.  Personally, running is the most therapeutic.  This is especially true on a day like today when the conditions are perfect.  It was a beautiful 70 degrees out, I happened to have a crappy day, and I got home with a decent amount of time before daycare closes.  I generally don't run for distance, less for time.  I just run as time permits.  My running has to be done after work but before 6pm when I need to pick up Trey from daycare.  This doesn't leave me much time, especially if I have tutoring or a meeting after school.  At times I know I will only be able to run about 20 minutes, but I have to take what I can get. Today I ran 40 minutes.  This is probably the most I have run in a few weeks.  

I digress.  My point is, do something, anything, to release the stress, anger, tension, etc...that you may be feeling about something that happened in your day (or life).  If not, you risk spillover.  For me, that would consist of taking my day out on the boys by not being as patient or mentally available for them. ...or being so worked up by the time HR calls that I really don't feel like talking to him, which is extremely frustrating for both of us since we get to talk so infrequently and for such a limited time.  

When I can't run, I do Insanity, shop, eat sweets (my kryptonite), watch a favorite show....and at the end of the day, be prepared to be positive and share some of the happy tidbits of  your day with those around you. This is not to say that you can't vent, but having an outlet will allow you to take some of the edge off.  If you can't find something good about your day to throw in, simply evaluate what you have, tell that someone how much you love and appreciate them, how much they mean to you...

tick tock

Time is ticking.  Thanksgiving is next week; Christmas is soon after. I need to start shopping. I need to start packing!  The next several weeks are going to be chaotic as we prepare for another chapter, but I'm ready. I think. Wait, who am I kidding? I'll be a mess and there will be no preparation.  I will be a classic procrastinator at her finest!!!

People keep saying we are crazy. HR and I have discussed it and have come to the same conclusion: YES we are crazy! The most important part though, is that we are crazy together.  I love HR and the fact that he is willing to let me do this.  It's not easy uprooting the whole family, but nothing worth doing is easy!  Next Monday we are going house hunting in Kingsville, and I am meeting with my adviser to discuss last minute details about my schedule and practicum hours.  I can't wait!!

Together

HR has been in town since Friday evening.  He did have to report to work briefly Saturday, but returned in just a few short hours.  He won't have to report again until Wednesday at midnight or quite possibly Thursday around lunchtime.

It will be almost a week for us to be together as a family, and although the boys are enjoying it too, they are also already expecting him to go back to work.  Today I picked up Trey from daycare and as we pulled into the drive he was surprised to see Daddy was still here.  I love the way his eyes light up when Daddy is home, melts my heart!  Even Ryan is very attached to HR.  It seems that he knows his time is limited, thus he spends as much time hanging on to him as HR will allow :)

Caiden enjoys the time when HR's home as well.  That boy can TALK!  HR always gets an earful on his way to drop off/pick up Caiden from school.  HR had the opportunity to work some of his days off, but Caiden sort of convinced him to stay a little longer.  Really if I didn't know Caiden's dad, I would swear that HR was his dad....they have the same habit of taking the long way around in a story.

I wanted to get an entry in since it has been a few days, but my love being home is the reason I haven't made time.  I'd much rather spend it with him and the family.  We also both got new smart phones, so I have been preoccupied playing with it....I had a 3 year old "basic" before, how did I ever survive?  lol.

Mummy's boy

Today is Ryan's birthday.  Oh yeah, it's Halloween also.  In about 2.5 hours he will be officially 1 year old.  I can't remember much for the first three days after he was born.  I know I didn't feel well all weekend.  My blood pressure was climbing throughout my pregnancy and I had already been in the hospital for a few days about a week before.  I went in to work on Monday, though I really felt I shouldn't be there.  Something was wrong, but I wasn't sure what.  I convinced myself that it was normal to feel blah and tired...being 8 months pregnant.  Plus, I hadn't left any work for my students, lol.  I went in to see the secretary in charge of absences and asked her if she could get me a sub for the afternoon.

I called the doctor and told him I just didn't feel well.  He asked me to come in just to be sure, since I had just gotten out of the hospital days before.  I went in around 1330.  My blood pressure was a little high and he was concerned with me possibly having pre-eclampsia (apprently the first time I was in the hospital I was "pre" pre-eclamptic).  I went in to the doctor's office and subsequently the hospital.  Long story short, near midnight they decided I needed an emergency c-section.  I had pre-eclampsia and HELPP disease (a lack of platelets) and I had sprung a leak (my amniotic fluid had been slowly leaking for what they estimated was a few weeks).  It was dangerous-my blood wouldn't clot, but leaving Ryan in would surely result in a stroke or heart attack, not to mention the dangers to him due to the leak.  My blood pressure continued to climb despite multiple doses of multiple medications.

All I remember is HR kissing me on the forehead, tears rolling down my face as they rushed me off.   The next three days are/were a blur :(

Cut to...today we had a birthday breakfast together, just me and my little wizard.  He was wearing his Indian costume.  He and a Winter Texan had a conversation over milk and coffee, respectively.  When we left, that older man gave him a coin dollar, ("Wompum," he called it), I thanked him and told him that it was special because today is his birthday!!!  He said to make sure it found its to his piggy bank.  At lunch a very dear friend of mine Dr. "D" treated us to lunch.  After, I got a run in with the birthday boy, got to pick up Caiden from school (and spend a few quality extra hours with him), we made mummy cupcakes, Nana came over, and we all went to the Fall Festival at Trey's childcare center (except Caiden who went trick-or-treating with my Uncle Albert and his kiddos).  Afterward, we had a birthday dinner with Nana.  Then....my babies passed out!  lol.  They had a great day despite daddy being gone, especially Ryan.  Happy Birthday RyRy!!!!

Is it Friday yet?

It's Monday and it wouldn't be Monday if something didn't go wrong.

The day started off well: woke up early, got the kids ready on time, got to work on time.  My students really enjoyed the activity that my partner and I worked so hard to put together.  I got an email mid-morning saying that my letter accepting TAMUK's offer had been received and the next step would be to contact my advising Professor to discuss scheduling.  I immediately sent him an email and just as quickly received one from him.  It's all becoming so real and as nervous as I am about how it will all pan out (with the family and finances, etc...), I am getting excited!!!

Cut to...I basically leave work when the kids do.  I make it home by about 4:15 and think to myself, "Wow, you have time for a good run in this beautiful weather!!!"  I pull into the driveway and press the garage door remote button.  Nothing.  I press it again.  NOTHING!  I call my mother-in-law, who leaves after I do in the mornings, and ask her how she got out this morning.  She couldn't find the extra remote, so she let herself out the back door.  :(

I have one key to my house.  It opens every door.  My key was in the house in the sleeve that holds my iPod when I run.  My garage door has a security option of locking out the remote.  It's a feature we use at night, so that if my truck were to get broken into, the remote would not be able to open the garage.  Since my mother-in-law didn't use the other opener, she did't disengage that feature.  I was locked out!!!

Two hours later, Pop-a-Lock arrived and let me in to my own house.  I promptly paid the guy $65 and immediately began looking for the key to put back on my car key ring.  I couldn't find it anywhere.  I thought about the last time I ran.  Last Friday, HR was still home, I ran to his parents house where he was waiting on me with the kiddos.  I put the iPod in the diaper bag when I got there.....connect the dots.  :(  I didn't get to run, and now I need a frosty adult beverage!!!!!

Finding time

A wise man once told me: "you will never find the time, you have to make time."  It's definitely easier to make excuses as to why there are not enough hours in the day to do everything.  When it comes down to it, it's a matter of prioritizing and understanding that we may have to extend our time frame for accomplishing certain tasks.  As a mother of three, wife, full-time student (up until August), and full-time professional, I have found it difficult to "find" time for myself.

It may sound odd, but that is one of the things I am looking forward to most about my new journey.  Although living in Kingsville will add a little financial stress and take me away from the support I have for the boys, I actually expect to have more time for myself.  Trading work for full-time grad school (12-15 hours + clinicals) will leave me windows throughout the day to take time for myself.  I am hoping to work on myself during this time by running/working out daily, researching and cooking more vegetarian meals, reading, relaxing, etc.  My children are still my number one priority (I will also have/make time to volunteer and be more involved at school), but I also know that generally speaking, I am all they will have so I need to make sure I am the best I can be....for them too.

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

We are moving!!!  HR and I have made the decision to take a blind leap of Faith and accept an offer of admissions for me to attend Texas A&M University-Kingsville.  I will be a full-time graduate student and semi-stay-at-home-mom.  The program requires me to take 12-15 hours a semester, in addition to working in the clinic.

It's definitely a shift in our original game plan.  Besides hating teaching, HR went back to oilfield work to earn more money to pay down some debt.  Attending school full-time will mean only HR will support us; therefore we will not have the extra money we expected.  Two-year sacrifice...long-term investment.

I was worried about Caiden having to move schools again.  Last year I moved him from the school he attended with his closest cousins and the same classmates he had for 3 years, he cried occasionally for almost a year after.   When I threw the idea at him I expected him to get emotional or pout.  Here is how it went:

                Me: Caiden, how would you feel about moving again?

                Cade: Why mom?

                Me: I want to finish school and they want me too, but it's a little far from here.

                Cade: Oh, ok.  Well tell me the day before so I can say goodbye to my friends.  

I had always intended to apply, but I never expected to be accepted so quickly.  I ONLY applied to Kingsville because it is the only school with a Spring start.   Each admitting season the university reviews roughly 300 applications and accepts a mere 12-15 students.  Instead, I expected I'd be busy filling out applications during the month of March for Fall 2013.

Now I have two months to find childcare, a place to live, someone to rent our home, etc... I am hoping to get better at blogging since I will have some extra free time on my hands, not to mention I will be away from some of Caiden, Trey and Ryan's biggest fans....