Mummy's boy

Today is Ryan's birthday.  Oh yeah, it's Halloween also.  In about 2.5 hours he will be officially 1 year old.  I can't remember much for the first three days after he was born.  I know I didn't feel well all weekend.  My blood pressure was climbing throughout my pregnancy and I had already been in the hospital for a few days about a week before.  I went in to work on Monday, though I really felt I shouldn't be there.  Something was wrong, but I wasn't sure what.  I convinced myself that it was normal to feel blah and tired...being 8 months pregnant.  Plus, I hadn't left any work for my students, lol.  I went in to see the secretary in charge of absences and asked her if she could get me a sub for the afternoon.

I called the doctor and told him I just didn't feel well.  He asked me to come in just to be sure, since I had just gotten out of the hospital days before.  I went in around 1330.  My blood pressure was a little high and he was concerned with me possibly having pre-eclampsia (apprently the first time I was in the hospital I was "pre" pre-eclamptic).  I went in to the doctor's office and subsequently the hospital.  Long story short, near midnight they decided I needed an emergency c-section.  I had pre-eclampsia and HELPP disease (a lack of platelets) and I had sprung a leak (my amniotic fluid had been slowly leaking for what they estimated was a few weeks).  It was dangerous-my blood wouldn't clot, but leaving Ryan in would surely result in a stroke or heart attack, not to mention the dangers to him due to the leak.  My blood pressure continued to climb despite multiple doses of multiple medications.

All I remember is HR kissing me on the forehead, tears rolling down my face as they rushed me off.   The next three days are/were a blur :(

Cut to...today we had a birthday breakfast together, just me and my little wizard.  He was wearing his Indian costume.  He and a Winter Texan had a conversation over milk and coffee, respectively.  When we left, that older man gave him a coin dollar, ("Wompum," he called it), I thanked him and told him that it was special because today is his birthday!!!  He said to make sure it found its to his piggy bank.  At lunch a very dear friend of mine Dr. "D" treated us to lunch.  After, I got a run in with the birthday boy, got to pick up Caiden from school (and spend a few quality extra hours with him), we made mummy cupcakes, Nana came over, and we all went to the Fall Festival at Trey's childcare center (except Caiden who went trick-or-treating with my Uncle Albert and his kiddos).  Afterward, we had a birthday dinner with Nana.  Then....my babies passed out!  lol.  They had a great day despite daddy being gone, especially Ryan.  Happy Birthday RyRy!!!!

Is it Friday yet?

It's Monday and it wouldn't be Monday if something didn't go wrong.

The day started off well: woke up early, got the kids ready on time, got to work on time.  My students really enjoyed the activity that my partner and I worked so hard to put together.  I got an email mid-morning saying that my letter accepting TAMUK's offer had been received and the next step would be to contact my advising Professor to discuss scheduling.  I immediately sent him an email and just as quickly received one from him.  It's all becoming so real and as nervous as I am about how it will all pan out (with the family and finances, etc...), I am getting excited!!!

Cut to...I basically leave work when the kids do.  I make it home by about 4:15 and think to myself, "Wow, you have time for a good run in this beautiful weather!!!"  I pull into the driveway and press the garage door remote button.  Nothing.  I press it again.  NOTHING!  I call my mother-in-law, who leaves after I do in the mornings, and ask her how she got out this morning.  She couldn't find the extra remote, so she let herself out the back door.  :(

I have one key to my house.  It opens every door.  My key was in the house in the sleeve that holds my iPod when I run.  My garage door has a security option of locking out the remote.  It's a feature we use at night, so that if my truck were to get broken into, the remote would not be able to open the garage.  Since my mother-in-law didn't use the other opener, she did't disengage that feature.  I was locked out!!!

Two hours later, Pop-a-Lock arrived and let me in to my own house.  I promptly paid the guy $65 and immediately began looking for the key to put back on my car key ring.  I couldn't find it anywhere.  I thought about the last time I ran.  Last Friday, HR was still home, I ran to his parents house where he was waiting on me with the kiddos.  I put the iPod in the diaper bag when I got there.....connect the dots.  :(  I didn't get to run, and now I need a frosty adult beverage!!!!!

Finding time

A wise man once told me: "you will never find the time, you have to make time."  It's definitely easier to make excuses as to why there are not enough hours in the day to do everything.  When it comes down to it, it's a matter of prioritizing and understanding that we may have to extend our time frame for accomplishing certain tasks.  As a mother of three, wife, full-time student (up until August), and full-time professional, I have found it difficult to "find" time for myself.

It may sound odd, but that is one of the things I am looking forward to most about my new journey.  Although living in Kingsville will add a little financial stress and take me away from the support I have for the boys, I actually expect to have more time for myself.  Trading work for full-time grad school (12-15 hours + clinicals) will leave me windows throughout the day to take time for myself.  I am hoping to work on myself during this time by running/working out daily, researching and cooking more vegetarian meals, reading, relaxing, etc.  My children are still my number one priority (I will also have/make time to volunteer and be more involved at school), but I also know that generally speaking, I am all they will have so I need to make sure I am the best I can be....for them too.

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

We are moving!!!  HR and I have made the decision to take a blind leap of Faith and accept an offer of admissions for me to attend Texas A&M University-Kingsville.  I will be a full-time graduate student and semi-stay-at-home-mom.  The program requires me to take 12-15 hours a semester, in addition to working in the clinic.

It's definitely a shift in our original game plan.  Besides hating teaching, HR went back to oilfield work to earn more money to pay down some debt.  Attending school full-time will mean only HR will support us; therefore we will not have the extra money we expected.  Two-year sacrifice...long-term investment.

I was worried about Caiden having to move schools again.  Last year I moved him from the school he attended with his closest cousins and the same classmates he had for 3 years, he cried occasionally for almost a year after.   When I threw the idea at him I expected him to get emotional or pout.  Here is how it went:

                Me: Caiden, how would you feel about moving again?

                Cade: Why mom?

                Me: I want to finish school and they want me too, but it's a little far from here.

                Cade: Oh, ok.  Well tell me the day before so I can say goodbye to my friends.  

I had always intended to apply, but I never expected to be accepted so quickly.  I ONLY applied to Kingsville because it is the only school with a Spring start.   Each admitting season the university reviews roughly 300 applications and accepts a mere 12-15 students.  Instead, I expected I'd be busy filling out applications during the month of March for Fall 2013.

Now I have two months to find childcare, a place to live, someone to rent our home, etc... I am hoping to get better at blogging since I will have some extra free time on my hands, not to mention I will be away from some of Caiden, Trey and Ryan's biggest fans....